Santa Claus hates Floridian kids.

Santa Claus hates Floridian kids.

As the Northeast and the Midwest are expecting yet another snowpocalypse, the little town of Stuart, FL is experimenting with a different kind of storm. The entire firth grade class of Stuart Elementary started a strike on Tuesday, on the account of “not enough snow days”.

As the northern states of the country, well, the entire country, is being smothered with white powder, students of Stuart Elementary have not had yet the chance of sledding on a weekday.

Once again, Florida has been sticking out and kids are not happy with it.

“My cousin lives in Boston and he’s had 5 snow days already” complained M., 6. “It’s just not fair that we have to work more than they do”. Indeed it’s not, as a Floridian kid I as well would wonder why Northeast kids have better SAT scores and less school days.

P. just arrived to Florida from Cuba a couple of months ago with his brother and his mom. For Christmas he wished two things – that his mother not be deported and snow. “I have never seen snow in my entire life, I don’t know what it feels like. Also I was told that if it snows, we don’t have classes.” So P. sent a long letter to Santa Claus and asked for snow. So far his Mom is still here, working at Taco Bell, and the grounds of Stuart are still as dry as my grandma’s bottoms.

A report shows that in Florida for Christmas 2010, 58.9% of kids below 15 wished for snow. In Massachusetts, Vermont, and other New England states – only 9.8% did. However last Tuesday New England received another 6 inches of snow, and snow fall accumulated to over 5 feet in the last three weeks. States across the nation usually have an average of 7% of kids wishing for snow. A warm winter last year probably increased this number across the Northeast.

Many kids tried alternatives – on top of asking Santa for more snow, they asked God and one was caught driving his mother’s car up North to “go to the snows farms and steal some of the snow”. He was caught right before getting on the highway, as he had forgotten to buckle up.

A sun day was eventually granted to Stuart Elementary to stop the strike. In Miami, usage of cocaine has grown over the last few weeks. Santa could not be reached for comments.

Posted via email from Jay Gee